The message received loud and clear from parents who have contacted me via this website is that Social Services neglect, abandon, disown parents who have disrupted or wish to disrupt. Every single parent who has emailed me reports the exact same experience. This is a shocking FACT. Why do the SS fail parents at a time when support should not be greater? That is the bigger question – something to do with statistics? having to admit failure/poor representation of the child to start with – inadequate services/ poorly educated staff? Social Services distance themselves from parents almost immediately a disruption is on the cards and offer zero support; and instead go on the defensive, close rank and make sure that the parent accepts all the blame for the disruption. Authorities accept NO blame or failure in the adoption breakdown. The question we need to ask ourselves is what is wrong with Social Services and how a Dickensian organisation like this can purport to be on the side of children’s best interests? Woe betide you ever fall short as a parent and end up the wrong side of the fence…. Parents who have experienced the tragedy of disruption are further traumatised by SS attitudes, the adoption disruption meetings and the Care Orders and are further more bamboozled by the Local authorities appalling internal formal complaints procedure, yet again designed to protect all those within the SS for their own internal miserable failures. Don’t forget your human rights ‘No one shall be subject to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to protection of the law against such interference or attacks’ Declaration of Human Rights Article 12. Feel free to quote and repeat this next time SS blames you for the disruption in its entirety. As parents who have been through an adoption disruption trauma we need to collectively report our experiences and stand up and be counted without cowering in the shadow of fear. The LA’s shambolic internal formal complaints procedure has left us as parents with one other powerful option – go to your local MP, media, radio stations, and national papers. The SS have left parents with no other choices as they consistently defend the indefensible, have no hesitation to misreport facts, and will have you as the parent cast aside as the pariah and accept no blame or part in any of the breakdown. Your voice does count. Make it count.
I am sharing the article published by Grazia in South Africa – it doesn’t wholly reflect my story. I am discovering that it’s probably best to tell my story in my own words in future to the press ! however it does raise awareness about adopting damaged children and the subsequent Adoption Disruption which occurs and Care Orders which as you know I am passionate about changing and is the only reason why I went public with my story. Thank you South Africa for your support.
I am getting inundated with parents who have been through an adoption disruption, applied to adopt again, and been declined by their LA who have put the blame for the disruption squarely at the parents feet. This cannot be right? These parents are heroes who deserve support – and have tried their hardest with damaged children often at the cost of their marriages ; ask yourself the question – could you do any better?
I have had the same email may be 50 times since I launched adoptiondisruptionuk.com
Thanks to all those who have had the courage to email me, post a comment on the forum, and those who have signed the Care Order Petition, and retweeted adoptiondisruptionuk
A lovely friend of mine just said a prayer for my son while she was in GOSH yesterday with her daughter when she visited the chapel. For anyone who doesn’t know the chapel at GOSH is one of the most beautiful places in the world and one of the most poignant. Thanks again everyone for all your support for the new website.
I urgently request the Government to amend Care Order Form C110A
CARE ORDER Form C110A fails to protect natural and adoptive parents whose child has to go into Care for complex medical and/or psychological reasons only. As the form stands: Part 4 of the Children Act 1989 states: The grounds for the application are that the child(ren) is suffering or is likely to suffer, significant harm and the harm or likelihood of harm is because the child is:
- not receiving care that would be reasonably expected from a parent, or
- is beyond parental control
I want a new entry box in Section 4: has complex medical and/or psychological reasons.
This is a neutral and no blame approach to the breakdown where parental love and devotion are not the issues.
Adoption Disruption UK Mission Statement.
This is a website designed to support and help natural and adoptive parents whose child has had to go back into care or is in the process of experiencing this traumatic event because of complex psychological and/or medical reasons. Having been through this experience myself ( you can read My Story) I understand how isolating and traumatic losing a child in this way. I realised that there was no online support group in the UK or anywhere specific offering advice, counselling or consolation. Had I been able to reach out and talk to another Parent who had gone through something similar I know I would have felt less alone.
In my case I had an adopted child and therefore went through an Adoption Disruption. Hence the idea to link Adoptive Parents together so they can chat/meet up and so forth but it is also for natural parents too who have been through a Care Order.
This is to be an informative site, dedicated to being a lifeline to parents in distress.
It is my belief the more open Local Authorities/Social Workers can be, the more supportive the government can be, the more informed Parents will be and this will help create a culture of overall openness. The stigma and sense of isolation many Adoptive Parents feel is currently encouraged by a society and government that does little to support them Post Adoption Disruption.
I want more information to be available to Parents who have adopted and proactively support a change in the current Care Order form to protect ALL Parents as this form is used for both birth parents and parents who have adopted. I want more pressure put on the government to affect these changes.
Information is steadily being uploaded to the website so please bear with me while the website grows and develops. Adoption Disruption UK has just gone live January 2015.
All views on this website are subject to change and updates and do not represent any other views except my own and the people who represent their own views on here.
This website is a work in progress and is under constant evaluation.