Interested in contributing to research regarding Adoption Disruption for MA degree?

86.137.236.95

Hi,
My name is Clare Heyhoe and I am a counsellor. I am undertaking a research project on adoption breakdown as part of my Masters degree at Cambridge University, and I would like to invite anyone who has experienced adoption breakdown to talk to me about it and for me to hear your story.

WHY?
I believe the impact, trauma and emotional cost of breakdown for adoptive families and children, is never truly understood or heard. I would like Local Authorities and Agencies to hear the voices of adoptive parents and their experiences, in order to try to prevent future breakdowns.

WHAT, HOW AND WHEN?
During March, when and where convenient for you – within Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire or Cambridgeshire if at all possible. It will be an informal, semi-structured interview, where I hope you will feel relaxed enough to talk to me.

CONFIDENTIALITY
All that you say will be confidential. Names will not be used and I will make sure you cannot be identified. I will need your consent to record our session(s) in order for me to analyse what you have said for the report. You will be able to read through these transcripts. You can change your mind about taking part at any time and leave the research project.

NOT SURE….
By talking about your experience, many mixed and possibly overwhelming emotions may be triggered. I offer empathy, warmth and am non-judgemental. I am also a member of the BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists), bound by their ethical guidelines for research where well-being is paramount. I have ongoing supervision with Fiona Peacock, who is a BACP Senior Accredited Counsellor and a Certified Theraplay Therapist and Trainer.

If you are willing to take part, thinking about it, and/or have any questions, please can you get in touch with me at: clare.heyhoe@btinternet.com.

Thank you for reading this and hope you get in touch. Clare.

Claire – thank you for letting me do this.

Social Services consistently fail parents who have disrupted

The message received loud and clear from parents who have contacted me via this website is that Social Services neglect, abandon, disown parents who have disrupted or wish to disrupt.  Every single parent who has emailed me reports the exact same experience.  This is a shocking FACT.   Why do the SS fail parents at a time when support should not be greater? That is the bigger question – something to do with statistics? having to admit failure/poor representation of the child to start with – inadequate services/ poorly educated staff?  Social Services distance themselves from parents almost immediately a disruption is on the cards and offer zero support; and instead go on the defensive, close rank and make sure that the parent accepts all the blame for the disruption.  Authorities accept NO blame or failure in the adoption breakdown.  The question we need to ask ourselves is what is wrong with Social Services and how a Dickensian organisation like this can purport to be on the side of children’s best interests?  Woe betide you ever fall short as a parent and end up the wrong side of the fence…. Parents who have experienced the tragedy of disruption are further traumatised by SS attitudes, the adoption disruption meetings and the Care Orders and are further more bamboozled by the Local authorities appalling internal formal complaints procedure, yet again designed to protect all those within the SS for their own internal miserable failures.  Don’t forget your human rights ‘No one shall be subject to attacks upon his honour and reputation.  Everyone has the right to protection of the law against such interference or attacks’ Declaration of Human Rights Article 12.  Feel free to quote and repeat this next time SS blames you for the disruption in its entirety.  As parents who have been through an adoption disruption trauma we need to collectively report our experiences and stand up and be counted without cowering in the shadow of fear.   The LA’s shambolic internal formal complaints procedure has left us as parents with one other powerful option  – go to your local MP, media, radio stations, and national papers.  The SS have left parents with no other choices as they consistently defend the indefensible, have no hesitation to misreport facts, and will have you as the parent cast aside as the pariah and accept no blame or part in any of the breakdown.    Your voice does count.  Make it count.

Grazia South Africa article – 8th April 2015

I am sharing the article published by Grazia in South Africa – it doesn’t wholly reflect my story. I am discovering that it’s probably best to tell my story in my own words in future to the press !  however it does raise awareness about adopting damaged children and the subsequent Adoption Disruption which occurs and Care Orders which as you know I am passionate about changing and is the only reason why I went public with my story.  Thank you South Africa for your support.

http://www.pressreader.com/south-africa/grazia/20150408/283592398829483/TextView

Grazia South Africa

Adopting after an Adoption Disruption

I am getting inundated with parents who have been through an adoption disruption, applied to adopt again, and been declined by their LA who have put the blame for the disruption squarely at the parents feet.  This cannot be right?  These parents are heroes who deserve support – and have tried their hardest with damaged children often at the cost of their marriages ; ask yourself the question – could you do any better?

I have had the same email may be 50 times since I launched adoptiondisruptionuk.com

Thank you everyone

Thanks to all those who have had the courage to email me, post a comment on the forum, and those who have signed the Care Order Petition, and retweeted  adoptiondisruptionuk

A lovely friend of mine just said a prayer for my son while she was in GOSH yesterday with her daughter when she visited the chapel.  For anyone who doesn’t know the chapel at GOSH is one of the most beautiful places in the world and one of the most poignant.  Thanks again everyone for all your support for the new website.

gosh chapel

The Open Nest

This wonderful organisation has just come to my attention -thank you Amanda Boorman for providing me with some background info.

‘We are a forward thinking charity that offers post adoption peer support. We organise and deliver awareness raising projects informed by the adoption community.
We also offer free short breaks to adoptive families in crisis and in 2015 are hoping to register to add a therapeutic childcare element to these breaks.
Run by experienced adopters and adoptees’ Please visit:
The Open Nest

Sharing Adoption Disruption Stories

I have been very moved over past few days by people contacting me with their Adoption Disruption stories all at various stages of placement, Pre and Post Adoption Order, and the fact  all of them have offered to share their contacts with others going through this.  It means that the website is working and the support group is actively in progress.  This feels like the start of an amazing achievement.  If you know someone or have been through and Adoption Disruption yourself and would like to contact me please do via email: adoptiondisruptionuk@yahoo.co.uk

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