Interested in contributing to research regarding Adoption Disruption for MA degree?

86.137.236.95

Hi,
My name is Clare Heyhoe and I am a counsellor. I am undertaking a research project on adoption breakdown as part of my Masters degree at Cambridge University, and I would like to invite anyone who has experienced adoption breakdown to talk to me about it and for me to hear your story.

WHY?
I believe the impact, trauma and emotional cost of breakdown for adoptive families and children, is never truly understood or heard. I would like Local Authorities and Agencies to hear the voices of adoptive parents and their experiences, in order to try to prevent future breakdowns.

WHAT, HOW AND WHEN?
During March, when and where convenient for you – within Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire or Cambridgeshire if at all possible. It will be an informal, semi-structured interview, where I hope you will feel relaxed enough to talk to me.

CONFIDENTIALITY
All that you say will be confidential. Names will not be used and I will make sure you cannot be identified. I will need your consent to record our session(s) in order for me to analyse what you have said for the report. You will be able to read through these transcripts. You can change your mind about taking part at any time and leave the research project.

NOT SURE….
By talking about your experience, many mixed and possibly overwhelming emotions may be triggered. I offer empathy, warmth and am non-judgemental. I am also a member of the BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists), bound by their ethical guidelines for research where well-being is paramount. I have ongoing supervision with Fiona Peacock, who is a BACP Senior Accredited Counsellor and a Certified Theraplay Therapist and Trainer.

If you are willing to take part, thinking about it, and/or have any questions, please can you get in touch with me at: clare.heyhoe@btinternet.com.

Thank you for reading this and hope you get in touch. Clare.

Claire – thank you for letting me do this.

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Adoption Post Disruption – the story that refuses to go away….

This is a genuine email from someone who has contacted the website raising the same issue about adopting post disrupting.  There is an extremely serious issue at heart here .  Local Authorities will simply NOT allow a parent who has disrupted (post adoption order) to adopt again.  However they will not say this to their face and follow the farcical procedures of pretending to examine them as a potential adopter again with the same end result – a series of reasons at the end of it why they may not. My local authority will simply not tell me how many adopters who disrupted have gone on to successfully adopt again – why not?

It must be a very easy figure to ascertain.  They said I would have to pay the LA £450 for them to reveal this  information. What a ridiculous response and an evident diversion away from the truth.

Adopting post disruption and treatment by LA’s handling this subject is a human rights issue, and one that refuses to go away.  Discrimination to protect themselves?

Contact me or share this story if you know someone willing to speak up and tell me about their positive second time round adoption story.

here’s the same story repeated to me regularly from genuine parent…

‘however it seems we are now facing being discriminated against even though the breakdown was because of social services and not us.

I am really interested to investigate how many more adoptive parents have suffered discrimination once a disruption has taken place.  It seems to me that the adoptive parents are made the scape goat for the social workers sheer incompetency.’  Anonymous.

Social Services consistently fail parents who have disrupted

The message received loud and clear from parents who have contacted me via this website is that Social Services neglect, abandon, disown parents who have disrupted or wish to disrupt.  Every single parent who has emailed me reports the exact same experience.  This is a shocking FACT.   Why do the SS fail parents at a time when support should not be greater? That is the bigger question – something to do with statistics? having to admit failure/poor representation of the child to start with – inadequate services/ poorly educated staff?  Social Services distance themselves from parents almost immediately a disruption is on the cards and offer zero support; and instead go on the defensive, close rank and make sure that the parent accepts all the blame for the disruption.  Authorities accept NO blame or failure in the adoption breakdown.  The question we need to ask ourselves is what is wrong with Social Services and how a Dickensian organisation like this can purport to be on the side of children’s best interests?  Woe betide you ever fall short as a parent and end up the wrong side of the fence…. Parents who have experienced the tragedy of disruption are further traumatised by SS attitudes, the adoption disruption meetings and the Care Orders and are further more bamboozled by the Local authorities appalling internal formal complaints procedure, yet again designed to protect all those within the SS for their own internal miserable failures.  Don’t forget your human rights ‘No one shall be subject to attacks upon his honour and reputation.  Everyone has the right to protection of the law against such interference or attacks’ Declaration of Human Rights Article 12.  Feel free to quote and repeat this next time SS blames you for the disruption in its entirety.  As parents who have been through an adoption disruption trauma we need to collectively report our experiences and stand up and be counted without cowering in the shadow of fear.   The LA’s shambolic internal formal complaints procedure has left us as parents with one other powerful option  – go to your local MP, media, radio stations, and national papers.  The SS have left parents with no other choices as they consistently defend the indefensible, have no hesitation to misreport facts, and will have you as the parent cast aside as the pariah and accept no blame or part in any of the breakdown.    Your voice does count.  Make it count.

Edward Timpson MP

I think Edward Timpson Department for Education, Ministerial and Public Communications  may be the only person who can help further financial support for http://www.adoptiondisruptionuk.com and further the campaign to change the current nature of the Care Order to protect parents post adoption disruption.  I have emailed him today 26.5.15  I will let you know when I hear back.

Edward Timpson

Grazia South Africa article – 8th April 2015

I am sharing the article published by Grazia in South Africa – it doesn’t wholly reflect my story. I am discovering that it’s probably best to tell my story in my own words in future to the press !  however it does raise awareness about adopting damaged children and the subsequent Adoption Disruption which occurs and Care Orders which as you know I am passionate about changing and is the only reason why I went public with my story.  Thank you South Africa for your support.

http://www.pressreader.com/south-africa/grazia/20150408/283592398829483/TextView

Grazia South Africa

Adopting after an Adoption Disruption

I am getting inundated with parents who have been through an adoption disruption, applied to adopt again, and been declined by their LA who have put the blame for the disruption squarely at the parents feet.  This cannot be right?  These parents are heroes who deserve support – and have tried their hardest with damaged children often at the cost of their marriages ; ask yourself the question – could you do any better?

I have had the same email may be 50 times since I launched adoptiondisruptionuk.com

Thank you everyone

Thanks to all those who have had the courage to email me, post a comment on the forum, and those who have signed the Care Order Petition, and retweeted  adoptiondisruptionuk

A lovely friend of mine just said a prayer for my son while she was in GOSH yesterday with her daughter when she visited the chapel.  For anyone who doesn’t know the chapel at GOSH is one of the most beautiful places in the world and one of the most poignant.  Thanks again everyone for all your support for the new website.

gosh chapel