When will they stop demonising the parents during disruption to protect themselves and when will the government do something about it ? I am still receiving countless emails to this effect. You only have to read the public stories in this site to see this is the case.
How long will it be before the Government acknowledges that Children’s Services are not only letting down the children in their care but the parents who adopt them? Children’s Services is in a shambolic state and needs far wider investigation than the government has yet ventured. The Social workers are poorly educated; departments pass the buck conveniently from one to another; Heads of Social Services are totally lacking integrity; the formal complaints process is farcical, and there appears to be no one in charge; even Chief Executives fail to respond or accept any wrong doing. With a system like this is it any wonder Children’s services is being run into the ground. Children’s services never accept culpability for their own failings and in the long run this will be their undoing…..They fail children and parents alike.
The message received loud and clear from parents who have contacted me via this website is that Social Services neglect, abandon, disown parents who have disrupted or wish to disrupt. Every single parent who has emailed me reports the exact same experience. This is a shocking FACT. Why do the SS fail parents at a time when support should not be greater? That is the bigger question – something to do with statistics? having to admit failure/poor representation of the child to start with – inadequate services/ poorly educated staff? Social Services distance themselves from parents almost immediately a disruption is on the cards and offer zero support; and instead go on the defensive, close rank and make sure that the parent accepts all the blame for the disruption. Authorities accept NO blame or failure in the adoption breakdown. The question we need to ask ourselves is what is wrong with Social Services and how a Dickensian organisation like this can purport to be on the side of children’s best interests? Woe betide you ever fall short as a parent and end up the wrong side of the fence…. Parents who have experienced the tragedy of disruption are further traumatised by SS attitudes, the adoption disruption meetings and the Care Orders and are further more bamboozled by the Local authorities appalling internal formal complaints procedure, yet again designed to protect all those within the SS for their own internal miserable failures. Don’t forget your human rights ‘No one shall be subject to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to protection of the law against such interference or attacks’ Declaration of Human Rights Article 12. Feel free to quote and repeat this next time SS blames you for the disruption in its entirety. As parents who have been through an adoption disruption trauma we need to collectively report our experiences and stand up and be counted without cowering in the shadow of fear. The LA’s shambolic internal formal complaints procedure has left us as parents with one other powerful option – go to your local MP, media, radio stations, and national papers. The SS have left parents with no other choices as they consistently defend the indefensible, have no hesitation to misreport facts, and will have you as the parent cast aside as the pariah and accept no blame or part in any of the breakdown. Your voice does count. Make it count.
I think Edward Timpson Department for Education, Ministerial and Public Communications may be the only person who can help further financial support for http://www.adoptiondisruptionuk.com and further the campaign to change the current nature of the Care Order to protect parents post adoption disruption. I have emailed him today 26.5.15 I will let you know when I hear back.
I have been contacted by yet another group in London who cannot offer support for disruptions and lack expertise or knowledge in this area. I am also finding it hard as a solo organiser of adoptiondisruptionuk to offer all the support I can for parents. Funding for disruptions needs to be passed our way so proper support can be offered 24/7. Please retweet and show your support.
I am sharing the article published by Grazia in South Africa – it doesn’t wholly reflect my story. I am discovering that it’s probably best to tell my story in my own words in future to the press ! however it does raise awareness about adopting damaged children and the subsequent Adoption Disruption which occurs and Care Orders which as you know I am passionate about changing and is the only reason why I went public with my story. Thank you South Africa for your support.
I am getting inundated with parents who have been through an adoption disruption, applied to adopt again, and been declined by their LA who have put the blame for the disruption squarely at the parents feet. This cannot be right? These parents are heroes who deserve support – and have tried their hardest with damaged children often at the cost of their marriages ; ask yourself the question – could you do any better?
I have had the same email may be 50 times since I launched adoptiondisruptionuk.com