Comments on: My Story

By: Irene

Irene — Tue, 10 Mar 2015 20:32:17 +0000

Hi Claire
Our adoption (of 2 little girls) broke down in April 2013. It was absolutely heartbreaking. However we picked up the pieces and went on to adopt again in February 2014. Our daughter (who was four when we adopted her) is very settled, happy and thriving in her new home. I just thought you would find it encouraging to hear about a successful adoption, following an adoption disruption.
Irene x

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By: artbyclairephotography

artbyclairephotography — Tue, 10 Mar 2015 14:43:26 +0000

Hi peter
thanks for your response. I appreciate it and glad you understand the issues surrounding the care order. Do you mean will my son be ‘unadopted’ by me? im not sure that’s the right phrasing but the answer is no – he is too ill to be put up for adoption ever again and will always be my son, and I have parental responsibility with him which I share with the local authority. Let me know if I understood you correctly.

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By: Peter Dale

Peter Dale — Tue, 10 Mar 2015 14:09:18 +0000

Clare, thank you for sharing your sad story. Sadly, as evidenced by the recent Selwyn research, constructive post-adoption support is exceedingly thin on the ground. I am very pleased that the Care Order was made on a ‘no blame’ basis (rather than for potential harm in relation to yourself).

With all of your research in this area, do you know whether it will be possible at some stage for the original adoption order to be revoked?

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By: artbyclairephotography

artbyclairephotography — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 10:04:16 +0000

I am going to get in touch with you Nigel. Thank you so much

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By: Nigel Priestley

Nigel Priestley — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 10:03:11 +0000

There are few more distressing situations than this. As a lawyer I sat on the advisory group in respect of Prof Julie Selwyn’s Report on Adoption Breakdown published last year. It’s a very important report which highlights the v challenging situations adopters find themselves in. But for an adoptive parent facing Care Proceedings – it can be a minefield.

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By: Nigel Priestley

Nigel Priestley — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 09:56:44 +0000

I am a solicitor specialising in adoption breakdown. I currently have cases in Brighton Bradford Newcadtle and Northampton plus am advising clients on the issue. I’d be very happy to touch base with you. I write an occasional column for Adoption UK and we have a website http://www.adoptionlegalcentre.co.uk. My mob no is 07885430085 office no 01484538421. Nigel Priestley.

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By: Joanne Barratt-Green

Joanne Barratt-Green — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 22:36:50 +0000

You are so doing the right thing and you CAN make a difference. More people need to be aware of this.

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By: AdoptDisruptUK

AdoptDisruptUK — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 13:58:53 +0000

Hi there and thank you so much for your support. Please do get in touch with me with your story email: [email protected] as would love to hear your story too. Thanks for all the Twitter retweets too – they have caught my attention – thank you !

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By: Al Coates

Al Coates — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 11:31:38 +0000

Your story is truly heartbreaking and the implications for all concerned must be truly traumatising, obviously for you but for everyone touched by the experience.
As a family we have been touched by disruption, very different to your experience, but never the less difficult and painful.
Wishing you well with the needed support group.

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By: AdoptDisruptUK

AdoptDisruptUK — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 09:43:24 +0000

Thank you Paul – it is definitely attracting the positive attention I was hoping for and already collecting names for database so people can be in touch with each other and offer support.

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By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:04:08 +0000

What a useful site, I’m sure lots of people: parents and prospective parents will find it very helpful.

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By: artbyclairephotography

artbyclairephotography — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 14:57:18 +0000

This is a really sensitive and constructive response. Hugely appreciated and thank you for your considered reply. All support and thoughts are welcome. Thank you.

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By: Marie Kershaw (@mkershaw_uk)

Marie Kershaw (@mkershaw_uk) — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 14:05:10 +0000

Hi Clare, I was so sorry to read about your experience of adoption breakdown. As a Clinical Psychologist working with adoptive families in a local authority setting, I have worked with several families going through the devastating experience of adoption breakdown. In our team we work hard to help colleagues on the front line social work teams to understand the additional layers of complexity when a child returns to care from adoption, and to understand that at times, there is a need to pro-actively plan for a child’s return to care where the situation at home has become untenable for a variety of often complex reasons.

In my experience, no adopter wants to find themselves in a situation where they are having to consider their child returning to care. It is not a decision that is taken lightly or easily, rather it is a decision that is usually filled with much heartache, guilt and pain. Where this very difficult decision HAS to be taken, parents and children need support to plan for the breakdown in as positive a way as possible in the circumstances. We have a long way to go to help educate the system and develop sensitivity in working with families going through adoption breakdown, but there are pockets of good practice around. I think the more awareness that is raised of this issue the better and I wish you all the best in this endeavour.

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By: artbyclairephotography

artbyclairephotography — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 10:27:56 +0000

Thank you so much I appreciate the support for the website. If you email me I will update you [email protected]

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By: FinallyAFamily2013

FinallyAFamily2013 — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 18:25:00 +0000

What a great site, I wish it every success! Have you been able to start an adoption process for another child? What age was your first child when placed with you?

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