OPINION Sir Martin Narey, former chief executive of Barnardos

Sir Martin Narey reaction upon regarding my story on adoptiondisruptionuk .  ”You can sense the grief and guilt as you read it” he said, ”but she shouldn’t feel that.  There are just some children whose future is in residential care; if her child was very ill he may well be one of them.  Adopters frequently take a badly damaged child.  They are heroes and need practical support and moral support.”

Adoption Disruption UK Support Group

Adoption Disruption UK Mission Statement.

This is a website designed to support and help natural and adoptive parents whose child has had to go back into care or is in the process of experiencing this traumatic event because of complex psychological and/or medical reasons.   Having been through this experience myself ( you can read My Story) I understand how isolating and traumatic losing a child in this way. I realised that there was no online support group in the UK or anywhere specific offering advice, counselling or consolation. Had I been able to reach out and talk to another Parent who had gone through something similar I know I would have felt less alone.

In my case I had an adopted child and therefore went through an Adoption Disruption. Hence the idea to link Adoptive Parents together so they can chat/meet up and so forth but it is also for natural parents too who have been through a Care Order.

This is to be an informative site, dedicated to being a lifeline to parents in distress.

It is my belief the more open Local Authorities/Social Workers can be, the more supportive the government can be, the more informed  Parents will be and this will help create a culture of overall openness. The stigma and sense of isolation many Adoptive Parents feel is currently encouraged by a society and government that does little to support them Post Adoption Disruption.

I want more information to be available to Parents who have adopted and proactively support a change in the current Care Order form to protect ALL Parents as this form is used for both birth parents and parents who have adopted. I want more pressure put on the government to affect these changes.

Information is steadily being uploaded to the website so please bear with me while the website grows and develops. Adoption Disruption UK has just gone live January 2015.

All views on this website are subject to change and updates and do not represent any other views except my own and the people who represent their own views on here.

This website is a work in progress and is under constant evaluation.

 

Support Group for All Parents

Support Group for All Parents

COUNTY COUNCIL MISLEADS PUBLIC WITH ADOPTION BREAKDOWN FIGURES

COUNTY COUNCIL MISLEADS PUBLIC WITH ADOPTION BREAKDOWN FIGURES

The Council does not collate and publish adoption breakdown figures for children who have been adopted. The County Council only publishes statistics on adoption breakdowns for the period before a child has been adopted.

Michael Warby, on behalf of Hertfordshire County Council states:

Adoption disruption is only recorded for statistical purposes on arrangements that disrupt pre adoption order. The disruption of an adoption arrangement post order is not collated.’

The Council refers to adoption breakdowns as ‘adoption disruptions’.

The consequence of this is that the County’s adoption breakdown figures do not represent the true figure of what is happening with regard to adoption breakdowns.

This is not in the public interest. It conceals the true rate of adoption breakdowns. It deceives the prospective adopter into thinking that the prospects of a successful adoption are better than they are.  It fails to acknowledge those parents who have been through an adoption disruption.  It removes scrutiny from Social Workers who may share some responsibility for those breakdowns where the child has been adopted.

There can only be one reason for not publishing total breakdown figures and that is this allows the Council to present a better picture of adoption success rates than is actually happening. The Council does not provide the statistics of post adoption figures under Freedom of Information requests.

We pay Council Staff to represent our interests. We do not pay them to hide information and deceive us.  Staff who devise schemes to hide information are working neither in the public nor the Council’s interest.  We do not need council staff who devise schemes like this.  This is a face of bureaucracy which has no place in today’s world.

Hertfordshire County Council’s recent published ‘adoption disruption’ figures are cited as:

2013-2014 – 0

2014-2015 – 1

2015-2016 – Data not yet published

An innocent member of the public reading these figures would very reasonably think that Hertfordshire had no adoption breakdowns, at any level, in 2013 to 2014. This is NOT the case.

What we need is a mandatory recording of all adoption breakdowns.  This information is readily and easily available.

The fact that the Council does not want to publish this information can only mean one thing – social workers are afraid of scrutiny, and this leads to an organization with a limited capacity to learn.

Local authorities 

When will they stop demonising the parents during disruption to protect themselves and when will the government do something about it ? I am still receiving countless emails to this effect. You only have to read the public stories in this site to see this is the case. 

Interested in contributing to research regarding Adoption Disruption for MA degree?

86.137.236.95

Hi,
My name is Clare Heyhoe and I am a counsellor. I am undertaking a research project on adoption breakdown as part of my Masters degree at Cambridge University, and I would like to invite anyone who has experienced adoption breakdown to talk to me about it and for me to hear your story.

WHY?
I believe the impact, trauma and emotional cost of breakdown for adoptive families and children, is never truly understood or heard. I would like Local Authorities and Agencies to hear the voices of adoptive parents and their experiences, in order to try to prevent future breakdowns.

WHAT, HOW AND WHEN?
During March, when and where convenient for you – within Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire or Cambridgeshire if at all possible. It will be an informal, semi-structured interview, where I hope you will feel relaxed enough to talk to me.

CONFIDENTIALITY
All that you say will be confidential. Names will not be used and I will make sure you cannot be identified. I will need your consent to record our session(s) in order for me to analyse what you have said for the report. You will be able to read through these transcripts. You can change your mind about taking part at any time and leave the research project.

NOT SURE….
By talking about your experience, many mixed and possibly overwhelming emotions may be triggered. I offer empathy, warmth and am non-judgemental. I am also a member of the BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists), bound by their ethical guidelines for research where well-being is paramount. I have ongoing supervision with Fiona Peacock, who is a BACP Senior Accredited Counsellor and a Certified Theraplay Therapist and Trainer.

If you are willing to take part, thinking about it, and/or have any questions, please can you get in touch with me at: clare.heyhoe@btinternet.com.

Thank you for reading this and hope you get in touch. Clare.

Claire – thank you for letting me do this.

Children’s Services

How long will it be before the Government acknowledges that Children’s Services are not only letting down the children in their care but the parents who adopt them? Children’s Services is in a shambolic state and needs far wider investigation than the government has yet ventured.  The Social workers are poorly educated;  departments pass the buck conveniently from one to another; Heads of Social Services are totally lacking integrity; the formal complaints process is farcical, and there appears to be no one in charge; even Chief Executives fail to respond or accept any wrong doing.  With a system like this is it any wonder Children’s services is being run into the ground.    Children’s services never accept culpability for their own failings and in the long run this will be their undoing…..They fail children and parents alike.

Adoption Post Disruption – the story that refuses to go away….

This is a genuine email from someone who has contacted the website raising the same issue about adopting post disrupting.  There is an extremely serious issue at heart here .  Local Authorities will simply NOT allow a parent who has disrupted (post adoption order) to adopt again.  However they will not say this to their face and follow the farcical procedures of pretending to examine them as a potential adopter again with the same end result – a series of reasons at the end of it why they may not. My local authority will simply not tell me how many adopters who disrupted have gone on to successfully adopt again – why not?

It must be a very easy figure to ascertain.  They said I would have to pay the LA £450 for them to reveal this  information. What a ridiculous response and an evident diversion away from the truth.

Adopting post disruption and treatment by LA’s handling this subject is a human rights issue, and one that refuses to go away.  Discrimination to protect themselves?

Contact me or share this story if you know someone willing to speak up and tell me about their positive second time round adoption story.

here’s the same story repeated to me regularly from genuine parent…

‘however it seems we are now facing being discriminated against even though the breakdown was because of social services and not us.

I am really interested to investigate how many more adoptive parents have suffered discrimination once a disruption has taken place.  It seems to me that the adoptive parents are made the scape goat for the social workers sheer incompetency.’  Anonymous.

Social Services consistently fail parents who have disrupted

The message received loud and clear from parents who have contacted me via this website is that Social Services neglect, abandon, disown parents who have disrupted or wish to disrupt.  Every single parent who has emailed me reports the exact same experience.  This is a shocking FACT.   Why do the SS fail parents at a time when support should not be greater? That is the bigger question – something to do with statistics? having to admit failure/poor representation of the child to start with – inadequate services/ poorly educated staff?  Social Services distance themselves from parents almost immediately a disruption is on the cards and offer zero support; and instead go on the defensive, close rank and make sure that the parent accepts all the blame for the disruption.  Authorities accept NO blame or failure in the adoption breakdown.  The question we need to ask ourselves is what is wrong with Social Services and how a Dickensian organisation like this can purport to be on the side of children’s best interests?  Woe betide you ever fall short as a parent and end up the wrong side of the fence…. Parents who have experienced the tragedy of disruption are further traumatised by SS attitudes, the adoption disruption meetings and the Care Orders and are further more bamboozled by the Local authorities appalling internal formal complaints procedure, yet again designed to protect all those within the SS for their own internal miserable failures.  Don’t forget your human rights ‘No one shall be subject to attacks upon his honour and reputation.  Everyone has the right to protection of the law against such interference or attacks’ Declaration of Human Rights Article 12.  Feel free to quote and repeat this next time SS blames you for the disruption in its entirety.  As parents who have been through an adoption disruption trauma we need to collectively report our experiences and stand up and be counted without cowering in the shadow of fear.   The LA’s shambolic internal formal complaints procedure has left us as parents with one other powerful option  – go to your local MP, media, radio stations, and national papers.  The SS have left parents with no other choices as they consistently defend the indefensible, have no hesitation to misreport facts, and will have you as the parent cast aside as the pariah and accept no blame or part in any of the breakdown.    Your voice does count.  Make it count.

Edward Timpson MP

I think Edward Timpson Department for Education, Ministerial and Public Communications  may be the only person who can help further financial support for http://www.adoptiondisruptionuk.com and further the campaign to change the current nature of the Care Order to protect parents post adoption disruption.  I have emailed him today 26.5.15  I will let you know when I hear back.

Edward Timpson